Breakthrough

On 1/8/07,its my first Nurses’ Day celebration that I spent peacefully at home alone.Well,for all these years in NUH,I had been participated most of the events that my Recreational HR would plan.Thus,I would be busied with rehearsals before the events.As for now,I could plan my own programs at my own pace.Without realising it,I got a D.I,Y handy name stamp for myself & I got my sim card change into a new card though I got to travel from Yishun to Vivo City for I perferred their starhub customer services to Plaza Siongapura Branch staffs. Everthing seemed to be so wonderful after I ended my relationship & my hectic lifestyle.

Currently,I began to enjoy more as each day past.Well,I could identify the group of friends to go to which club for a drink & enjoy each other accompany as we could just dance throughout the whole night party.The exploration of experiencing different atmosphere with individuals,allowed me to realise that to take things easier than the past I used to be could focus my own directions & enabled me to be more carefree as my restricted boundary had been enlarged suddenly.As for now,I could breathe deeper & my insight improved with more forthcoming,I could smile from my heart,laught out till my heart drop,I could dance throughout the night till my energy drains,I could sing & scream till my lungs blow,I could just go anywhere I feel like it with minimum restriction for I know who I should inform & I know what I should do to make people around who still concern,care & love me for who I am feel relieve,the acceptance & acknowlegement satisfied me just I felt contented with everything I have now.

Over the past few months,I managed to catch up with long term friends who had been busy with their lifes.After for not updating each other for such a long time,I felt great that I found them back & they had been doing well with their lifes as they moved on.No doubts,there were times like roller coaster,but this is life that everyone will be encountered with adventure so that your life will be unique longlife stories to motivate others who needs your sharing at different levels of life in individuals.Thus,do treasure whatever you are going through currently be it good times or bad times,its just an experience to move on & to mould you to be stronger.Do not ever think of giving up for there’s time for everything.

Love,

Joey 

Its been a month that I have been an agency nurse,I enjoyed the freedom & lifestyle currently.Initially,I was still worried about how to manage my own account & my time management.Well,as time goes day by day,I was more assured subsequently.Though it seemed like the income might not be as stable as being employed with a long term company,I was being appreciated better by my ex nursing managers.With the rates of my income currently,it would depends on how hard I want to earn for the monthly income as everything would be under my own control.Thus,I would be having more time to spend with my family & friends.Being under self employment currently,I would have to learn how to manage my finance in a way that I could enjoy & save without being feeling gulity towards my dearest parents for their worries.Ultimately,I want to provide the best for them to enjoy a comfortable life.Howver,I was glad that during my down moments,I could stand on my feet firmly within a very short period of time.Thus,I was surprised that I could allow whatever hurts me the most in the past to be lessons to be learnt & I realised that how important to learn how to let go wholeheartedly in order to be who I am now.

Perhaps my heart,mind & soul have been strong enough to let everything that would be unhealthy to diminish within the shortest time frame,so that I could breathe in the healthy air to embrace the space with joy & being who I am without masking myself.Though I had gone through difficult moments,I was numbed with people who revealed to be fake & unworthly to be consider as friends.Thus,I would be more cautious of making friends currently in order not to be hurt again for no good reasons as I had been seeing too much in relationships….Certiainly,there would be true friends around me who I would treat them as I trusted them for they were the ones who had given me courage to face my life bravely.

Nevertheless,Its been such a long time that I could sleep & dream with a smile & enjoyed the carefree feelings for whatever I want to do,I could just go ahead with my family & friends support.Furthermore,its been such a long time that I could smile,laugh & dance with freedom……

Love,

Joey

Well,its been a while that I have been searching for a job that I like very much.Though its been tough moments during these few months,I’d explored things that I’d never been thought of & I guessed I’d enjoyed the whole process.

At first,I was at a loss after my love life returned to singlehood again for I thought things might worked out.But now,I would like to thank my ex-boyfriend who returned my freedom for me to adventure my life once again.If not,I would still be daydreaming in the relationship that would never be a fruitful one.As for now,it would take a longer period to step into a new relationship in future for I guessed my feelings sensed the numbness.

Thus,during the period when I was pulling myself back to face my new chapter of life ahead,I asked offered to help out in a student care centre for 2 weeks in the month of school holiday.Though I would like very much to help but I hesitated for I doubted of my short-temper when in term to come with handling with children.Initially,I was shy to mingle with those children,but after a period of 2 weeks,I realised I’d enjoye my time spent with them.While exploring the new adventures,I was being requested to go back to my pervious ward,psychiatric,to help out over the crisis in the ward.Well,I hope I would be helping them for a long period.

However,I believe that there must be reasons for what I am encountering & exploring.For He is with me always & He is moulding me to be a stronger & wiser person in future.

Love,

Joey

Time flies,its been a month since I’d decided to put my relationship with Kel to an end after we’d been doing our parts in this relationship.Well,I guessed we weren’t meant for each other…Although everything seemed to be in peace,the most painful trigger would be when you realised that the feelings’d come to a dead end….Since the problems were numbness in feelings,thus,it would be pointless to carry on with this kind of relationship.Hence,it would be healthier to let it go earlier than moving on with torment……

After the drastic changes within such short period,I realised that I enjoyed my freedom & treasured more while I’m still single & available.Initially,I was still tensed if I could get everything over strongly as everything seemed to be crashed together at once.No doubt,I began to be doubtful towards true love in marriage,sincerity in true friendships & how true could family expressed towards each other in kinship.On the other hand,my trust was being put up with a "well-tailored armour".Well,I feared to face human as I wouldn’t know when should I be masked or when should I be real & true.Thus,I would let down my intuition as my compass to feel better,enjoy my freedom as far & as much as possible for life is short & things would just happened unexpectedly….Well,Lord has been good to me for the good & bad times.Thus,I shall give thanks & praise the Lord for everything that would be under HIS Mercy for He is the Planner,He is the Hidding Place,He is the Strength…

Thus,I believe that faith to face the obstacles & learning how to overcome every each of them step by step is a process even though it would be a long journey…..Learning to put every broken pieces in place is a skill & learning to face the tough moments in life bravely is a challenge……

Love,

Joey

Human beings is an interesting creature,created with the image of the universe artist,God.Human beings,born with souls,with the capability to think & rationalise issues that an animal cannot.Well,animals would kill each other in other to survive which similar to human beings when human beings reveal their hypocritial & their hunting skills in order to proof to others that they would be the best in their industry.

On the other hands,human beings would be well decorated with emotions when they expressed themselves in different stages of life.Upon apprearance, the anatomy of a human structure seems to be simple to observe.Well,the complex

portion would be the psycholosocial,the sensations,the thinking process & the ability to rationale the thinking process.Somehow,in life the more simple that you are looking forward,the more complex it would be.Well,I guessed the environment played an important factor to enhance the different perceptions for individuals in life.When someone is being hurt,the emotion feeling turns numb eventually.When the warmness of the sincerity is being affected,the sincerity that expressed from within the deepness of the heart burns off slowly…

Well,that’s why the important of being true friends make life a difference for individuals in different stages of life.Thus,no one is perfect.Hence,with the different strong points & weak points from individuals would enhance each other’s potential in different regions that would be accumulated to be team building with teamspirits.In a team,we magnify on the best points being projected & appreciate them objectively.Though conflicts delvelop in the team,conflicts allow to understand each other better.Friendship grows stronger when each other are able to accept each others’ flaws & appreciate each others’ characters & personalities.Pal,have you found your true friends yet?Be appreciative & treasure them for they are just around you.Fortunately,I’d found mine.

Love,

Joey

Well,what a relieve after letting go what I suppose to let go long time ago.Initially,I thought that something could be amended if I’d put in effort.In the end,I realised that I was deceived & blinded by certain elements that I was fleeing from.By the way,I was glad that everything was under control now.

After I’d gone through so much,I’d gained abundantly.True friends who are willing to listen to you,stand by you always,understand you thoroughly your needs,trust you as a buddy,share everything under sun with trust.Trust is something so precious:difficult to develop with time,easy to destroy within seconds.Well,I’m proud to anounce that I’m relieve to carry on with my life with pride as I know that I have so many close buddies & with the uncondition love from family support.

Nevertheless,I considered myself to be fortunate enough to talk to my previous boss from NUH during my psychiatric posting.However,God has been good to me to bump into him on my last day of work with the cardiologist when I was on my way to throw my trash.Ultimately,I’d been longed to work for him after I’d left NUH.Thus,I hope that I could be working under his guidance this time after discussed with him regarding my resume.Meanwhile,I’ll be patience enough to wait for his reply for the outcome.

Finally,I would truly appreciate Merl,Sky & Mayvien for they’d spared me their ears & time for motivating me to be stronger.Now that I could breathe in the freshness of the air wholeheartedly,I will strive for the best with the new chapter of life & excel as far as my potential could bring me to.

Love,

Joey

Well,its been quite a while ever since I’d updated my blog.Within a week or so,I’m truly convinced that its difficult to understand the interesting changes in human beings.

Though its never been too late to realise certiain things in life with pain,No pain NO gain.Well,with the pain to let go something which I’d been holding on for so long,its gone in just a mist of time & the worst portion that sadden my heart most was that it worth nothing after I’d been spending so much of my care & concern wholeheartedly.Sometimes I really wondered if it could be more than words that I could express my emotions,perceptions from the others verified differently.After encountered so much of emotion torments,I’d tasted enough of the pain of the chinese idoims that goes: "Ri Jiu Jian Ren Xin" meaning that you will be able to understand the true colours of oneself after a long period of time.However,I guessed that applies to all relationships & its always been painful after concluded with the acceptance of the truth.However,there’s another chinese saying:’De Yi Shi,Zhang Yi Zhi" meaning that you will gain & learn a lesson after experience the mistakes that you’d made,try and be smart enough to avoid the similar mistakes from happening again in future.

Nevertheless,I will never give up hope in life.As life is so interesting & challenging,there’s never an ending to learn something new every moment.Well,life will still goes on after starting everything anew as the sun will never take breaks,I will treasure my carefree lifestyle and enjoy my golden moments with my beloved parents and concentrate on providing them the best that I could with the balance of work & psychosocial support whenever they require.Although I couldn’t provide them with plenty,I hope that would the best to repay their kindness for bringing me up & guide me along by standing by my side always without fail.Piety Fulfillment is the most precious element that repays the parents hardship of what they’d been go through just to provide the best for their children.

Love,

Joey

On 6/4/07,it would be a good friday that I would remember always.Well,this was the most special good friday that I’d ever celebrated.

As this special day was supposed to remember the sufferings of Jesus being cruxified,I was busied entertaining all the guests for its my last working day in Luge & Skyride.Though the time that I’d spent in Luge was short,I’d learnt alot of knowlege that I couldn’t gain from nursing itself.During these few months,alot of things had happened & I would keep all the sweet & good memories.

With the thoughts that I would missed those days working with the crews,I really don’t feel like leaving if not due to the income that I’m getting currently couldn’t sustain my survival.Besides,someone whom I’d been thinking to meet long time ago appreared in Luge,she was someone whom I got to know from KWSNH  & She left earlier than I to NUH.Despite of the night that was getting late,she waited for me for almost 2 hours till I finished my work.Even though we might not be knowing each other for very long,I was touched & appreciated her patience for waiting for me.Well,we went to AMK McDonald due to the lateness of the night,we’d supper & chatted for a very long time as we didn’t see each other for months.To our surprise,we’d chatted the entire night through till the next day morning..As both of us were tired,I sent her home before I went home.

Love,

Joey

On 31/3/07,this was the first time that I got home so early whenever I go Johore Bahru with my buddies.Well,its just too bad that Kel wasn’t able to join in the fun for the outing as he’d to work……

As today would be my first time being driven in to JB,thus,I’d experienced new encounter that I didn’t go through before.Besides,it was the first time I went to join in the fun with budget as with my current income wasn’t sufficient to sustain my savings.Furthermore,I got cramps & sprains over my neck,my right shoulder blade & all the way to my right feet while travelling in the seat with a wrong position.Thinking of suprises,Sky was surprised of the speed that was increased tremendously while we were having the muslim cusine.As I was still hoping to retreive back the similar ring that I’d lost,I bought another pair instead.

Even though I’d been in Sentosa for a few months,I enjoyed the jobscope & the environment.Well,I got another job offer as a staff nurse@Gleneagles.With the good offer,I decided to go back to clinic to polish up my skills again.

Love,

Joey

Time really flies as one out of two of my best buddies,Merl(Dolphin)would be flying to overseas to further her master if everything goes smoothly for her by June & the other one,Sky(Prawn)would be doing her degree in SIM & would be occupied with her studies & balancing her life between family & friends & love relationship.

As we’d been known as the seafood gang for I would be the odd one as a piglet(Xiao P),one of our common interest would be swimmig.Well,I really missed those days when I just got to know Sky during secondary one as our class were just beside each other & we mingled well with other classmates as well.Especially during tests & examination periods when we would meet each other earlier in school tuck shop(cateen) for revision before the papers,we would question each other & correct each other mistakes.By secondary three,Sky,Merl & me were allocated into the same class under comerce.TIl then,my impression towards Merl wasn’t too pleasant for I wasn’t close with her at all.Though we studied under the same roof,we seldom talk to each other as I was occupied tutoring a Thai friend whom everyone labelled us as twins(Siriporn) in second language,(Chinese).Thus,another two years past.Till secondary five which was our most important year for we would be taking GCE"O" Level paper,We got closer when we gathered together to study,we revisied together & we went swimming together to destress ourselves.Due to our difference in characters,there’s something which I couldn’t blend my interest in till now.As Sky & Merl are comics freak since young,I would just browse through the books shelves without any interest in them.Fortunately,nowadays,games could be found in comics shops,thus,I would just stuck with the games session while the other two freaks enjoyed their comics search.Though our personalities difference in range,we would compromise & communication played a very important portion as we would just forgive & forget those unpleasant moments when we’d talked things out for no one is perfect….

Nevertheless,its incredible that our friendship could sustain so well til now for almost forteen years.No doubt that we were busied with our life ever since graduated with our GCE"O" Level,we would sacrifice our leisure time for each other.Because of the course that Sky & Merl’d studied was the same in NP & I took Nursing in NYP,hence,I took sometime to adapt to their course of langauge.No doubt there were communication breakdowns at times,everything resumed as before after verfiying with one another.As for now,we worked hard towards our different career pathways but we never give up the opportunity to meet up as often as possible at least once a week over Merl’s place for dinner & majong session.Even though we couldn’t bear to be parted somehow,we believe that we would reunion when in times to come as its been great to witness the progress of each other’s life….

In future,I hope that I could witness more events of their life such as marriage & promoted to be mothers & eventually to grannies & grandmothers,hehehehehehe…..

Well,I just want to say towards these two important buddies in my life,"Hey sweethearts,I will always be there for you wherever you are & support you for whoever your happiness belongs.As we’ve gone through the thin & thick moments in our different stages of life,I will love you just the way you are till the day that we parted for we would leave this world someday."

Love,

Joey